Goodbye Won't Always Be Forever
by fikki
Summary: AU in which Haru doesn't go to Tokyo with Makoto, and crying ensues, plus a love confession. I do not own the characters from Free!


**It's been a long time since I wrote anything, so this might be a little rough. Anyway, I like sad endings and torturing myself, so this is like a Haru-doesn't-go-to-Tokyo-with-Makoto AU or a.k.a. what happens when you go far away to college and your boyfriend stays home. Enjoy, leave a comment/review, and please reblog if you found this on tumblr! Happy New Year everyone :) ~ fikki**

"Haru? Hey, what are you doing here?"

Makoto sat in the middle of his room, a ring of boxes and bins surrounding him haphazardly while he finished folding a t-shirt and placing it in one of his suitcases.

"You're mom called. Said you had a lot of packing left to do," Haruka answered flatly from where he stood in Makoto's bedroom doorway. There was a lot of packing left to do, sure, but it definitely wasn't Makoto's mother's idea to have him come over and help.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I should have started this a bit earlier," Makoto laughed softly, eyes scanning over the piles of clothes and boxes around him. "I never thought packing for college would take this much time. I have a lot of stuff that I didn't think I would want to take with, but…"

"Hm?"

The brunet shook his head, shrugging with a weak grin, "I guess I just can't part with it."

Haru wasn't really a sentimental person, which made it difficult for him to really understand the conflict going on in Makoto's head right now, but he knew how clingy his best friend could be, and if that was any indication of how he felt about inanimate objects as well, then he had no doubts that Makoto was trying to avoid a very severe case of separation anxiety from his things.

"Well, I can help you decide, if you want," Haruka offered, meeting Makoto in the center of the room and sitting across from him cross-legged. "I'll tell you if I think you really need something or not. Then you can decide if you still want to take it with."

"That's a great idea, Haru! Okay, let's start with… um… clothes?"

"Swimsuits," Haruka stated flatly before Makoto could even hold up the first item. "That's all you need."

"Haru!"

The raven smirked at the reaction he received. He would miss that: the shrieky-thing Makoto always did whenever he said something ridiculous about swimming or water. Haruka wasn't dumb; he knew Makoto would need more than just jammers. Sometimes, though, just getting that rise out of Makoto, and the amusement he felt from it, was worth looking like a brainwashed dork for.

"Fine. You can bring a shirt. Maybe two."

Makoto sighed, his face falling into his hands, "Oi, Haru. I thought you said you would help."

"I am helping. Now pick two shirts."

"That's not what I meant!"

And that seemed to be how most of the night would go. Haruka had sensed the stress Makoto was feeling when he had first walked into the room, and he had wanted to do his best to get rid of it. Makoto deserved to spend his last night in Iwatobi happily, so Haruka was going to do his best to give him that. And he thought he did a pretty good job too, for the most part. They laughed a lot- more than Haruka was used to, which made his cheeks hurt and eyes even water a bit if it was that funny. They spent a lot of time reminiscing as well, talking about being kids again, how college had always seemed so far away until suddenly it was hitting them in the face.

"I don't know," Makoto said, shoving the lid of a box filled with books down, "I just could never imagine doing this, you know? Like I always thought I would live here, and go to school here and work here and stay with Haru-" Makoto suddenly stopped, his cheeks turning a light tinge of red. "I mean, only if Haru decided to stay here too, that is."

Haruka wasn't really surprised; Makoto was the type who didn't like change. He liked the stability and slow-paced style of Iwatobi. There wasn't much pressure to do anything incredible or be better than everyone else, because no one really cared about that. They just lived life here, and that was something Makoto was perfectly content doing for the rest of his days. Hearing that he was leaving had been so shocking to Haruka for that very reason. And also because… well, he sort of always had the same thought too- that he and Makoto would just stay put. Why else would they need to go anywhere when they were both right here? It seemed like such a simple idea as kids, an irrefutable one, in fact.

"_Haru-chan, let's get married!" Makoto grinned, holding out a blade of grass that had been tediously tied into a child-sized ring as they stood on the playground during recess._

"_Why?" Haruka looked at the makeshift ring, then back at Makoto's sparkling green eyes, his radiating grin not even faltering at the question._

"_So we can stay together forever, of course." _

_The answer sounded so simple, so obvious, that Haruka couldn't disagree. He liked Makoto, a lot. He was his best friend. And he guessed it probably wouldn't be so bad staying with him forever. He would rather it be Makoto than anyone else, at least. How long was forever, though? If they were seven now, would forever still count when they were eighty, or ninety? _

"_Okay," Haruka shrugged, offering his hand out to Makoto and watching him slip the grass ring onto his pointer finger. "Shouldn't you have a ring too?" _

"_Ah, yeah. I guess so," the brunet put a finger to his lips in thought. "Hm, does Haru-chan have anything to make one with?"_

"_Here," Haruka dug into his pocket, pulling out a loose paperclip he had picked up on the blacktop for no particular reason. He worked it into a ring shape, meticulously bending all the corners until they were decently smooth, then twisted the two ends together when he was finished. "Does this work?"_

_Makoto's viridian eyes grew wide at the gift presented to him. He reached out and let Haruka slide it onto his finger, bouncing excitedly even though it was clearly too large for his small hands. "Haru-chan! It's beautiful! Thank you so much," he gushed, clasping the hands of the raven into his own. "Now we can be together forever!" _

Haruka wondered if Makoto remembered their promise, or the timid kiss they had shared under the slide afterwards, because Makoto had insisted that "only a kiss would make it for real". He watched his friend with distant eyes as other vague, blurred memories of their childhood flitted in and out of his memory, some barely beyond the reach of clarity.

"Haru?" Makoto asked after a couple minutes of silence, noticing the raven's spaced-out stare. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Haruka insisted with a murmur, then quickly changed the subject. "Isn't that the last one?" He nodded to the small shoebox in Makoto's lap, the only thing they had yet to search through in the room.

"Mm. It's filled with photo's, Haru." The taller boy began rummaging through them, pulling out different stacks and packages filled with the prints. "Hey! Look, Haru, you're in this one," Makoto spoke excitedly, leaning over to show Haruka the photo of them playing in a flimsy blow-up pool in a vague-looking backyard. They must have only been four or five years old. Haruka took the photo from his friend while he searched for others, pulling aside all of the ones with Haruka in them. They laughed at some of them, pointing out how clearly between nine and ten Makoto had surpassed Haruka in height, at some of the naked pictures of them in the tub, at the ones of Makoto with food smeared all over his face and Haruka with a guilty hand covered in the same mess.

"Makoto, look at this one," Haruka picked up a school photo of the brunet, chuckling. "You hair was so short." It was true- that was the year Makoto's mother had insisted he would look nice for at least _one_ school photo, which meant shaving off his shaggy brown hair into a neat, trim buzz cut. It looked horrible, to be honest, and Haruka remembered that day when Makoto had walked into the classroom, cheeks aflame and clutching his lunchbox in both hands as he walked quickly to his cubby, eyes trained on the floor hoping no one would notice him, or maybe think he was just a new student with a bad haircut. Makoto had cried all day until the last few moments before they took the photo, in which their teacher had convinced him to give a half-smile in exchange for a lollipop. Haruka could still see the tear stains on his cheek in the photo and chuckled to himself.

"Oh _god_," Makoto cringed at the picture, laughing himself. "I was so mad at my mom that year. She never made me cut my hair that short again," he grinned.

"Yeah, it looked pretty bad," Haruka added teasingly.

"Hey! Don't be mean, Haru! It wasn't my choice-"

"I still think it was cute, though."

Makoto's stammering halted at those words. "C-cute?"

"Nn."

There was a long pause between them, throughout which Haruka's smug smile persisted.

"HARU ARE YOU BLIND HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT'S CUTE? I LOOKED LIKE SUCH A LOSER AND I'M CRYING LIKE A LOSER AND-"

"So? You're not a loser now, right?"

Makoto glanced away, shrinking back a bit. "I don't know, I guess that's a matter of opinion."

Turning back to the photo, Haruka insisted, "Well, I don't think you are. And I don't think you ever were."

"… Thanks, Haru. I guess," the brunet replied with a quirked brow. Haruka added a too-pleased "you're welcome", at which Makoto stuck his tongue out and continued shuffling through more photos. He stopped suddenly, lips parting in a quiet gasp that caught Haruka's attention.

"What is it?"

"Haru… it's your grandmother."

The raven's cerulean eyes widened as Makoto scooted over to him, handing him the photo. In it, he and Haruka sat on the steps of the shrine with two popsicles in hand, Makoto grinning widely while Haruka sucked on his with a gentle smirk. Their free-hands sat in the small space between them, clasped together like they almost always were. Behind them, sitting with her own dripping popsicle, was Haruka's grandmother, a hand on her grandson's shoulder and a weak smile on her lips. Haruka couldn't remember the day, or even why they were all together like that, but he couldn't help how his throat felt like it was tightening in on itself and how his mouth went dry. He stared at the photo for a long time, and he could feel Makoto's heavy gaze on him, waiting for a reaction. It had taken Haruka several long minutes of staring to finally notice something glinting off little Makoto's finger on his left hand, the one that held Haruka's. He felt his throat clench again and clutched the photo to his chest, head hanging limp as he tried to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.

"Hey," Makoto finally said, a hand coming up to rub Haruka's back soothingly. "You can keep it if you want. I know it probably means a lot more to you anyway."

Haruka looked at Makoto with raised brows, as if asking _are you sure? _Makoto gave a short nod in return.

"If it's a happy memory, then I want Haru to have it."

"Thank you," Haruka murmured after a while, gazing at the photo for a few seconds one last time before slipping it into his pocket. He glanced back up at Makoto, who was smiling somberly, "Really. It's…"

"I know, Haru."

"Yeah."

They continued looking through the box quietly after that. Haruka found some more silly pictures of them that cheered him up a little bit, and buried deeper beneath a torn, faded letter was Makoto's old key-chain he had gotten at the swim club when they first joined. Haruka held up the clownfish and dangled it in front of Makoto's face.

"Tell me, do you still like this one? Or are you going to lie again?" He teased, raising a brow at Makoto when the brunet snatched the toy out of his hand.

"I didn't lie!" He insisted, then gave a sheepish smirk and laughed, "I just liked the dolphin one _more."_

"I knew it."

"Oh come on Haru, are you really going to hold a grudge about it? I gave it to you anyway!"

"You lied."

"Haruuuu it was years ago!"

Haruka was feeling particularly teasing that night, now that he was in a better mood, and with a mockingly casual lilt to his voice he shrugged, turning his head to the side, "Guess you'll just have to make it up to me now then."

There was a short pause. Haruka wondered what was taking Makoto so long to respond when he suddenly felt a warmth hit the back of his neck.

"Ne, Haru-chan," Makoto spoke softly, his voice somehow deeper than usual. "What would you like me to do?"

Haruka couldn't stop himself from turning around, nose almost bumping with Makoto's in their minimized proximity. His breath caught in his throat for a moment.

"D-don't be stupid, Makoto," he muttered finally, and the brunet pulled away with an easy smile, as if nothing had been odd about the situation at all.

"Alright, alright. You'll just have to accept an I-O-U then," Makoto nudged Haruka's side with his elbow.

"Deal."

Makoto returned his attention to the box, digging through lazily as he spoke. "I can't believe you're still on my case about that dolphin though. Really, I saved us a whole lot of fighting by just giving it-" Makoto suddenly stopped, his eyes trained on whatever he had just found hidden in the pile of photos. Haruka could see his lips part in disbelief, his brows furrowed and eyes curious. He reached into the box hesitantly, clearly about to pull whatever it was he found out.

"What is it?" Haruka finally interjected, causing Makoto to flinch and his fist to clench around the object in his hand.

"N-nothing, Haru-chan. Just a spider, heh," he tried to play it off casually, but Haruka could tell he was lying. First of all, when would Makoto _ever_ reach for a spider? Usually getting closer to it was counterproductive to him. Secondly, that look on his face was something that Haruka had never seen before, and he had known Makoto for a long enough time that he should have known all of his faces by now. It must have been something important, and possibly embarrassing, otherwise Makoto wouldn't have tried to hide it.

"Fine, if you say so."

Makoto was quick to answer. "Uh, I think we pretty much got everything, Haru. It looks like I'm, uh… all set to go tomorrow." He sounded more nervous than excited, which Haruka wasn't surprised by.

"Hey."

"What, Haru-chan?"

The raven stood up, offering his hand to Makoto. The brunet took it hesitantly, allowing himself to be pulled upright as well. They stayed like that for a moment, sapphire eyes trapped in emerald, hands interlocked unflinchingly.

"You're going to do great there. I promise."

Makoto's eyes flooded with a rush of emotion and he looked away abruptly, chewing his lip in thought. "But… what am I going to do with…without-"

"Makoto?" The two boys turned to see the taller teen's mother standing in the doorway, and admittedly confused expression on her face. Makoto dropped Haruka's hand instantly, leaving it feeling cold and empty. "You should go to bed soon, dear. I don't want you to be exhausted tomorrow."

"I know, mom."

Mrs. Tachibana smiled warmly at Haruka then. "Are you staying over tonight, Haruka? I wouldn't mind, as long as you two don't stay up too late. I'm sure Makoto would want to spend his last night here with you."

"Moooom," Makoto whined at the embarrassing comment, but Haruka found it sort of flattering.

"Sure, I'll stay."

"Great! Just be sure to set an alarm, I don't want you two sleeping in until noon, like usual. We have a big day tomorrow," she looked between the two boys, the smile on her face quivering a bit as her eyes sparkled with tears. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry," she apologized, rubbing at her eyes. "It's just that- I'm going to miss you boys _so much_." Mrs. Tachibana laughed, but the sound came out ragged through her tears.

"Mom, please don't cry now," Makoto murmured, walking up to the shorter woman and hugging her tightly. "I'm not gone yet. And Haru will still come over to visit sometimes, right Haru?"

"Of course," he agreed sincerely, joining Makoto's side and placing a comforting hand on his mother's shoulder. "I'll be happy to keep you company if you want."

"That's so sweet of you, Haruka. You don't have to waste your time with an old woman like me though," she insisted, a bit muffled by Makoto's strong embrace.

"It's not a waste to be with family," Haruka said quietly, and both Makoto and Mrs. Tachibana looked at him with shocked expressions.

"Haru…"

"Oh, Haruka, dear."

"It's true," he continued shyly. He'd never said something this intimate to the Tachibana's before. "You guys have treated me like family since my own left, and I don't know how I would have gotten on without you. So thank you. For… for everything, that is."

Makoto took a step back from his mother, eyes locked with Haruka's in a tender gaze that made the raven feel almost like crying, and opened his arms toward him. His feet were moving before his mind, and Haruka happily found himself wrapped in the arms of two of the most loving and caring people he had ever met, and he did his best not to let any of the tears that were causing his eyes to burn come out.

When they finally had gone to bed, Haruka was sure he would fall asleep instantly. The day had been so emotionally exhausting that he didn't think he could even stay awake if he tried.

Wrong.

It was hard lying in that bed, Makoto only a few mere inches away, knowing that this would be the last time he was there. At least for a while. It was hard thinking that this would be the last sleepover they had, the last time they could lie in bed together and talk about whatever came to their minds at ungodly hours of the morning, whispering across the pillows in hushed tones. And Makoto hadn't even allowed the "pillow talk" to start this time, rolling over immediately once they got into bed so his back was facing Haruka. That bothered the raven. A lot.

Haruka didn't want to waste their last night together in silence. But Makoto was asleep now, and his mother was right, they would have a long day tomorrow, so he decided it best to leave the sleeping man be. Haruka turned over, facing the wall with irritation as he let his eyes drift shut, silently praying that tomorrow would never come.

At 3:17 in the morning, Haruka was awoken by the bed quivering and a quiet noise.

At first he's incoherent, drowsy and unaware of what it could possibly be causing the movement. He listened for a while, taking in the sounds coming from the boy beside him. Some were quiet sniffles, others sounded more choked, like he was straining from something. Haruka was slow to put together the obvious fact that Makoto seemed to be crying.

And soon, it's not a quiet cry. Haruka could feel the entire bed shaking from Makoto's lurches and shivers. Each time he clenched, it sounded like he was being strangled by his own throat, like each noise that came out was being thoroughly constricted before weaseling its way into the night. Haruka couldn't bring himself to move, to speak, to do anything. He could only listen as Makoto's quiet sobbing became distinct and harsh, cringing each time a particularly aching moan permeated his ears and prickled his skin. It sounded almost like the brunet was speaking, muttering something against the pillows between his suppressed wails.

"H-Hah, oh g-god," he choked out between hiccups of tears, "I'm sorry. I'm s-so s-s-sorry."

Haruka felt his chest tighten, felt how constricted his body was just from simply hearing Makoto upset. He wanted to roll over, to hug his best friend and reassure him and hold him until he fell asleep in his arms, but he felt frozen with anxiousness and anticipation.

"I'm-m sorry, Haru."

The raven's breath caught at the sound of his name spoken so brokenly. He wasn't sure if he heard right, but that really sounded like Makoto was addressing _him_.

"I don't t-think I can do this without you," he heard the younger man say, felt a hand reach out and gently tug at the hem of his shirt, the way that Makoto always did when he was in desperate need of being comforted. "I'm sc-scared and I don't want to go. I-I don't wah-want to leave you," his voice shook uncontrollably, and another ragged sob rocked through him. "I ju-ust wanted forever and… and now I ruh-ruined it all."

Haruka's resolve was crumbling. He couldn't just let Makoto think all these things, he didn't want him to think that even though he's going away, it's going to destroy everything. It… it stung though. Because a part of him did feel like it was Makoto's fault; that he didn't _have_ to choose to go, but he did anyway and what did he expect to happen between them? He had to have known that if he left, things would… they would change.

"Haru, Haru I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I-"

Haruka couldn't take it anymore though. Rolling over abruptly, Haruka barely had time to register the horrified look on Makoto's face as he realized he'd been heard before the raven had wrapped him in his arms, pressing Makoto's head to his heart as a tear slid down his cheek.

"Stop. Stop apologizing, please," he gasped out, clutching his friend desperately. "I can't stand it, Makoto. I can't stand hearing you this miserable."

"Haru, Haru," Makoto continued to cry into his chest, large hands kneading into the back of his shirt as Makoto returned the embrace. "I c-can't do this anymore, I c-cant!"

Haruka physically _felt_ his soul breaking, how it shattered into thousands of pieces and dissolved into nothingness because Makoto sounded so completely lost and hopeless and there was nothing he could do about it. His hands shook as they stroked through Makoto's tangled hair, his skin burning everywhere that they were making contact. The thought that this could be the last time he ever held Makoto like this crossed his mind and Haruka couldn't stop himself from wincing back the rush of tears that were threatening to come out.

"You have to try," was all he could manage to say, but he felt like it was a mistake. He wished so bad he could have said, "Okay, then you can stay here. You can stay with me forever and I'll take care of you and you'll never have to go away ever I promise", but that lie was even worse. He couldn't promise that sort of thing to his friend. He didn't have that kind of control no matter how much he wished he did.

"D-…don't make me go, Haru." Makoto suddenly whimpered achingly into the fabric of his shirt.

And that's when Haruka lost every ounce of composure he had left in him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he finally sobbed into Makoto's hair in harsh whispers, "I don't want you to go. Please Makoto don't leave me, I- I can't let you!"

"Let m-me stay, please."

"I want you to; you know I want you to, Makoto."

"I want to be w-with you, Haru!"

Every thought in Haruka's mind was screaming, _then stay, stay with me Makoto. Just say you want it, say those three words and I'll make it happen. Makoto, I just need to know if you feel all of this the way I do. _

"Makoto…" was all he choked with a heavy sigh, clenching his eyes shut tightly, trying to will away his ridiculous thoughts. He felt a hand reach for his though, and let their fingers become intertwined with each other. He exhaled a shakey breath and opened his eyes when Makoto pulled his head away just the slightest, until his glistening green gaze met Haruka's own wavering one. Makoto brought their hands up to his lips and kissed the tops of Haruka's fingers gingerly, already pink cheeks growing even warmer from the raw sincerity of the action.

"Haru, I… you know. You _have to know by now_," Makoto murmured, his voice thick from crying. Haruka had always been astounded by his ability to, essentially, read his mind, and right now was no different. Could he see those thoughts in Haruka's eyes, did he know exactly what it was that Haruka wanted to hear? Was that what he was trying to tell him- that _yes, you're right, Haru. I do, so much-?_

"S-say it, please," Haruka implored in return, his own words barely loud enough to hear over the pounding in his chest. Makoto was right, it was so obvious really, how could he not know? It had been obvious since they were children, since Makoto had put that tiny grass ring on his finger so long ago- it was different then, though. It was innocent and pure and full of that sort of brotherly affection that they were known for having so much of. Now, things had changed. It had a new meaning to both of them, a connotation that implied so much more than the childhood one of "you're fun to play with and you make me happy when I'm sad sometimes", one of passion and an unbreakable dependence on each other, of need and adoration and so much more. As they had grown older, it was never that much of a secret that it had all changed, but hearing him say it out loud would make it true, would make the desperate dream in Haruka's mind finally a reality, and that hopefully would make the idea of being hundreds of miles away just a little bit more bearable for him.

Makoto took his time in answering. He drew closer to Haruka, pressing his lips to his hair and his forehead and his nose and his cheek until his warm breaths were gusting upon Haruka's own mouth, making him tremor. This was the first time they had done this, that Makoto had let himself do exactly what he'd been aching to do for the last ten or more years of his life, and yet it felt normal. It felt right and comfortable to have Makoto's lips touch his skin so tenderly, to have their hands wrapped so tightly around each other, for their chests to be pressed close enough that it almost felt like their heartbeats were syncing to each other's rhythm. Haruka had never kissed anyone before, but he's sure that if he kissed Makoto right now, it would feel just as natural and fitting as everything else they did together.

"Haru," the brunet finally breathed, their lips so close that Haruka could practically feel each word he spoke, "you know I love you, right?"

"Yes," came his timorous reply, and he clutched the front of Makoto's shirt with his free hand, needing something to cling to as his head began to feel light and dizzy.

"You know I've been in love with you for a long time."

"I know."

Makoto hesitated, his eyes somber and he sighed, shaking his head just the slightest as he finally whispered, "Then please, _please_ tell me you know that I always will be. Forever. No matter where I am or how far apart we are, Haruka." He pressed another kiss to Haruka's cheek, this time so close to his lips that it made his breath catch in his throat for a moment. "Tell me you understand that I will always be in love with you."

Haruka couldn't help how his tears made him sound so pathetic when he decisively choked back, "I understand."

"And I'll stay," Makoto murmured, voice rasped and low against Haruka's lips, his grip on the raven's hand tightening even futher.

As much as he wished it were true, Haruka was not dumb. He knew Makoto couldn't turn back now and just suddenly decide he wasn't going to school the very night before he left. If anything, his parents would simply chalk it up to nerves. _You're just nervous, sweetie, _they would tell him. _You'll have fun when you get there. _There was no way he could possibly stay. And Haruka hated that feeling of false hope- was almost angered by it.

"How?" He breathed harshly.

Makoto looked at him, confused for a moment, and stated simply, like it was the answer to all of their problems, "I just won't go tomorrow."

"Makoto, don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying," he countered, voice swelling with emotion, "I would do anything to be with you Haru, and if that means staying in Iwatobi then I will."

Haruka shook his head with a weighted sigh, "No, you wont. You _can't. _I know what I told you before, but that was wrong. I do want you to stay, you know that, but you have a dream. You have a whole life waiting for you starting tomorrow. I can't let you miss out on that because of me-"

"Haru, don't you see?" Makoto cut him off, straining and eyes teary again, "You are my life. You've always been my life and-… and so leaving you here would be like leaving behind everything that makes me, _me. _I can't be all of me without you!"

"Yes you can," Haruka retorted firmly, though his voice quivered anyway.

"You don't know that," Makoto nearly sobbed back, hands coming up to grip Haruka's shoulders desperately.

"Neither do you, Makoto," the smaller teen countered, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "You'll have no idea if you don't just try it. I can't let you lose this opportunity because of me, alright? Yes, I want you to stay- I'd be the happiest guy in the world if you did- but you and I both know that you just _can't._"

"Why? Why can't I?" The brunet whimpered.

Haruka hesitated, because the temptation to give him a reason to stay was so much stronger than to make him go. Because he could have everything he'd ever wanted right now if he said the right words, because he could have _Makoto. His Makoto. _He could have forever, just like he had promised so many years ago. But…

"You have to do what is best for _you_, not us," Haruka ached all over once the words were spoken, but it was true. He, right now, was not what Makoto needed. Haruka was undecided, variable, an _unknown factor_ throwing off a life-changing decision that had no use for wavering influences. He didn't want to be what stopped Makoto from finding his dream, because Haruka was a burden- simple as that. He was so emotionally dependent and just overall ridiculously reliant on Makoto guiding him through every single moment of every single day to make sure he was never made uncomfortable or scared that he knew there was no way the brunet would be able to focus on himself with a presence like that around.

"Haru don't say that-"

"No," Haruka asserted shakily, taking Makoto's face in his hands. "You know it's the truth. I care about you so much, and I want to be there for every moment of the rest of your life, but right now is about you finding the start of that on your own. I can't drag you down and keep you here for forever and force you to miss so many potential opportunities for you to be great." Haruka kissed him eagerly then, a short, searing motion that left them both in tears. "You can be so great," the raven whispered against Makoto's lips fervently, "I know you can. But me- being stuck here in Iwatobi- I'll _never_ be great like you."

There was silence after that. It seemed like Makoto had lost his will to fight Haruka's words anymore. He buried his face into Haruka's chest and sniveled quietly for a long while as Haruka lay steadily, clutching the younger man to him as he stared into the darkness of the bedroom blankly, his stomach and heart feeling painfully empty. He was almost angry at himself for convincing Makoto to go, for telling him that they- _he and Makoto_- were not important right now, that he would be better off without Haruka. It hurt to say those things, but what hurt more was that Makoto seemed to believe them, judging by his lack of response against them.

It was long time before Haruka heard the quiet mumble of "I'll go," against his skin. "But on one condition," Makoto added, lifting his head to meet Haruka's gaze.

"What's that?"

"You'll be here when I come back."

Haruka sighed, "Makoto I can't promise I'll still be in Iwatobi-"

"No," Makoto cut him off short, a hand coming up to grip Haruka's shirt right above his heart, "I mean here. Where you and I are _right now._"

Haruka's throat tightened at the words, unable to say anything aside from a breathless _yes _indicated by a quick nod, and then threw himself against Makoto, their lips colliding eagerly, trying desperately to convey the severity of their promise. Whining into the kiss, Haruka clung to his best friend for all life, maybe because he was afraid of Makoto leaving, maybe because he didn't think he would be able to breathe if he let go. Regardless, the brunet didn't seem to mind as he hugged Haruka closer, fingers winding into his midnight locks and caressing him tenderly as their lips molded against each other. Slowly, deliberately, they let each kiss resonate in the charged atmosphere, lips never parting even when panting softly, lungs yearning for air. Whispers of "I love you" permeated the room, those words with a history so long and deep that neither of them could even place when the sentiment truly first arose between them. They left shivers racing down Haruka's spine, raised goosebumps along Makoto's bronzed skin, left them both nearly weeping each time they were uttered into the heated space between them.

"Haru," Makoto sighed into the others lips, skimming a hand down his side as he spoke between each kiss, "I… I'm sorry I waited this long to tell you… Mm… I'm sorry I… I'm leaving tomorrow… for leaving you like… like this…"

"Mmmn, don't," the raven groaned softly, touched by Makoto's words but not in the mood to get into another apology-match.

"I'm sorry I didn't… try this sooner too," the brunet added anyway, pressing his hips into Haruka's hesitantly and intertwining their fingers. Something cold pressed against Haruka's skin on his right hand, and he peered down to see something faintly reflective around Makoto's finger. It looked like some sort of metal, like…

A ring?

As far as Haruka could remember, Makoto never wore a ring, or a metal band at that. But it looked thin, from what he could tell, almost like wire or… or…

"Makoto?" The raven pulled away from his lips to investigate further, lifting their hands up closer to his eyes to see better. "Is this… what I think it is?"

Smiling shyly, Makoto let Haruka slide the makeshift ring off of his finger, "So you do remember, then."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Haruka marveled at the fragile object in his hands. "Where did you find this?" He said suddenly, an intensity in his voice that even he wasn't expecting.

"That old shoebox, buried beneath the photos."

Haruka slipped the ring back onto Makoto's finger and grinned, "It fits you."

"Almost like it was meant to after all this time," the brunet replied, eyes focused and serious. There was a short pause; Makoto glanced back down at the ring adorning his hand. "My promise still stands," he said with strong conviction, taking Haruka's hands into his own. "I would like to be with you forever, Haru. Um- I mean, if you want, though."

"Yeah, I would," Haruka gave him an encouraging smile in return.

"G-good," Makoto nodded, cheeks red with embarrassment, but a warm smile on his own lips as well. "I… sort of wish I had a ring for you too now. Feels silly with just me wearing one. Like I'm the girl," he chuckled.

"That's because you are."

"Haru! That's mean!"

"It's the truth. You're always hiding behind me like a girl would with her boyfriend."

"That doesn't count!" Makoto whined. "And when I go to school, I wont be able to hide behind you anymore anyway."

"That's true," Haruka agreed softly, then sighed. "I'll always protect you, though."

Makoto nuzzled his face into Haruka's neck and murmured a quite, "I know, Haru-chan." He sniffled a bit before uttering a hesitant, "I love you."

"I do too."

"We should sleep."

"Yeah."

Turning his head up to plant a short kiss on Haruka's jaw, Makoto whispered sweetly, "Goodnight, Haru-chan."

"Goodnight, Mako." Haruka hugged him tightly, then added as his eyes drifted shut, "I'll see you in the morning."

"And the next?" Makoto asked hopefully, his voice rasped with tiredness and effort. Haruka chuckled at the childishness of it, at how cute Makoto could be sometimes, then answered with all seriousness.

"And every morning after that."


End file.
